Amy had been working long and studious into the night... erm, early dawn, pouring over an ancient Chinese book with very odd characters written on each and every page... "B-chan! C'mere and tell me if you can read this!"
B-chan glared at the offending person, waking her up 3 hours before she had to wake up and go to a japanese exam, "Damn you, for the last time; Kanji and ancient Chinese are NOT THE SAME!"
Amy slunk lower in her chair, "You could at least try..."
The stressed out college girl ignored the comment and tried to go back to sawing logs with a rusty blade. Dreaming of frisking A random hottie with her broken pair of handcuffs, or something of the sort. At least, it would explain the strange noises eminating from her...
The little stock girl took another swig of pepsi (realizing the can was empty, making some sort of pitiful noise, and grabbing another) and starred at the red covered book. "If I only had my tapes I could recite the first words instead of translating them. You've got to be the Universe of the Four Gods--"
Just then, Dee-chan popped in (in that weird way anime characters have a habbit of doing, as if they slink on the floorboards waiting for just the right moment...) and waved her hands wildly, "Did you say 'Translate!?"
Amy wondered if she should really say 'yes' as she collected herself from the floor... noting that the help would need to sweep up in the billiard room. "Um... do you know Ancient Chinese?"
Dee-chan simply huffed it off, "I can translate anything!" she proclaimed. Secretly though, she pulled out a japanese manga of Fushigi Yuugi and quickly memorized the first line. She grabbed the book and pronounced;
"HEREIN CONTAINS THE TALE OF A SMALL CARTOON COMMUNITY AND THIER ADVENTURES IN AN ANIME WORLD. THEIR QUEST; TO GATHER THE HOTTEST SEISHI OF THE CONSTELLATIONS AND BRING THEM TO THIER WORLD. AND IF YOU, THE ESTEEMED READER, SHOULD READ THE STORY TO THE STORY'S END, THE SPELL CONTAINED WITHIN THIS BOOK SHALL BESTOW UPON YOU THE POWERS OF THE HEROINE, AND GRANT YOU YOUR WISH."
And in a rainbow colored haze, not unlike many a San Fransico parade, the entire population of the Chichiri community were transported into the book. Save two.
"AMY! IF YOU DON'T STOP WAKING ME UP--!!" the book promptly hit her on the head, spilling it's pages open. She blinked her eyes slowly, "Dude, it is in japanese." and began to read. "The young obsessed fan and the translator set out on thier adventures to... to...crap... they really didn't know thier destination."
"I say we go over THERE!" Amy said, pulling Dee-chan in the western direction.
Dee-chan stomped on Amy and pointed to the North, "Konan is THAT WAY."
"Phfft," Amy grumbled, "How would you know that?"
Dee shrugged, "Really, whatever way we go we'll get stopped by muggers who will try to rape us and then sell our tainted bodies to the highest bidding brothel, so, really, does it matter?" A group of men sulked in the bushes, how did the two girls know thier plan? They sneaked away, another day, another miko...
Amy gave off that cheery aura of a wanna-be hero, "Of course it does! Because if we'll be saved by a Suzako seishi!!"
"Well whaddaya know? You found 'em." A rather fiery red-head grumbled.
Dee-chan whispered to Amy, "Must be pre-Eikou den, his hair is still too weird."
But Amy did not hear a word Ina said, for there, standing before her, was non other then Chichiri.
"DAAA!!! GET IT OFF NO DAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Dee wasn't looking at Tasuki anymore, or even at the cling-on Amy, but at the man Amy was clinging on to. Her mouth dropped open in shock, then it slowly spread into a slow smile. She wanted to say something, or hug him, or... well, anything would have been better than standing there looking like an idiot... but this was simply how she reacted when she saw people she loved. Like Jeff Boschee. Damn, had that been an awkward moment.
The monk shook his leg, attempting to get the strange girl off. He looked across the clearing at Dee, who was simply standing there, staring at him with big, gooey eyes. "Daa..." he muttered, sweatdropping.
Tasuki laughed. "Hey Chichiri, I think ya got yerself a fan squad!"
"Daa..."
Dee blinked, trying to speak without sounding too stupid. "Um. Hi. Um. Hi. Um..." Okay, so much for not sounding stupid. "Er... My name's Dee and you're..." she caught herself before she said "my future husband."
"Chichiri and Tasuki, right?"
"Hai, no da," the chibi monk agreed, looking down.
"And this would be...?"
"YOUR NEW FIANCEE!" Amy cried happily, squeezing slightly harder and attempting to snuggle her face into his kesa.
"Daa..." Chichiri looked at Tasuki and Dee pleadingly.
The brunette girl was only too happy to oblige. "Amy, quit embarassing yourself!" she grabbed ahold of her friend and pulled, trying to get her away from the monk. "And back off of him, dammit," she growled under her breath.
"BUT I SAW HIM FIRST!" Amy insisted, keeping her vice-like grip on his leg.
Tasuki sighed and came over, using his tessen to pry her fingers off his friend's pants. Finally, after a bit of cursing on both sides, the college girl came free, flying across the ground and landing on Dee with a WHUMP. "Unceremonial landing, but soft nonetheless," Amy said with a grin, patting her Dee-cushion.
"Itai..."
Tasuki gave off a little scowl, one of his fangs showing, "Why the hell are you here anyway? You the Byakko and Genbu Mikos?"
"DIBS ON BYAKKO!" Amy shouted.
Dee just rolled her eyes, "Remember, the whole ChiML community is here."
Amy seemed to take this into consideration for moment, "So... I compete with like, 5 other girls over Chichiri?" Amy flexed her little muscles, "I work stock at Pottery Barn for a living! I can kick all thier asses!"
Tasuki had to give her a grudging respect, stock sounded hard from the way she put it. Little did he know most of it was sliding boxes. but, Dee could care less. She was looking at her hands and blushing, doing weird things with her fingers, "Um... Um..."
Amy grinned, she could loose one of the few girls after her Chichiri in an easy enough fashion, "Hey, the incantation said something about collecting all the bishy's, ne?"
"Hai... what are you getting at?"
"We need to get Kouji."
"FUCK! What the hell do you want with Kouji?!" Genrou snarled, no way in hell he wanted these two loons around Mount Leikaku.
"It's part of our mission here." Amy said, somehow she had managed to jump into Chichiri's arms, and he was deathly afraid of what would happen if she was loose, "We have to get all the hot guys from your world."
"Kouji..." Dee-chan remarked, her face a brighter shade as she looked lovesick, playing out little scenes of Chichiri and Kouji worshipping her body.
"Then what are ya gonna do t'us?"
Amy shrugged, "Taiisukun would know, probably." And just at that moment, the old bag appeared....who was much more scarier in person then she ever was in a TV screen.
"IT'S SCARY!!!!" Deechan said, jumping in Tasuki's arms (since Chichiri's were occupied.)
Amy burried her face into Chichiri's kesa, "Save me oh handsome monk!"
His eyebrow twitched, "I am a monk, no da."
Amy shrugged, "A vow of chastity is just a challenge."
"Daaaa...."
Taiisukun coughed, "Well, you girls are right. Your mission is to get all the handsome men from our universe and bring them into yours."
"Why's that?" Dee-chan asked.
"Because, your world seems to be severely lacking."
Dee and Amy cracked up, it wasn't exactly what they were expecting, but true nonetheless.
Tasuki frowned, "All the guys in thier world are ugly? How the hell can any of 'em have any kids with an ugly guy in a sack?"
"Hey, blindfolds are more then just shameless sex-toys."
Taiisukun wanted something else to bring up the aformentioned objects, but this seemed to do, "Speaking of which, you'll need to brand all the men with these." and produced a bag. Inside seemed to be an endless supply of fuzzy handcuffs. "These will keep the powers at bay," She said, eyeing Chichiri carefully trying to get to his kasa, "While providing a link to your world when you have collected all the bishonen."
"WOHOO! FUZZY CUFFS!" Amy shouted, and before you could say Obaa-san wa, fuhai-tanku ni ochikamamashita, The cuffs were around both Chichiri and Tasuki as the girls, carried by thier respective bishys, cried out, "TAKE US TO KOUJI!"
B-chan's face turned brighter and brighter shades of red as she read along with Dee-chan and Amy's angst’s thus far. She simply couldn’t take it anymore. Remembering how Miaka and Yui had once communicated with each other while in separate worlds she scrambled for something of theirs in the backpacks they had left behind. Finally, in a voice that would have been loud enough for half the country of Konan to hear, she exploded in protest, "AMY!!!! How dare you handcuff my dear dear Chichiri-sama without MEEEEEEEE!! You know perfectly well that‘s *myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy* fantasy!" she whined, though she had no intention of waiting to receive a reply in this world if she could help it.
"Damn you, book!" she pouted. "LET...ME...IN...!!"
"You don‘t want me as the narrator, I swear! I‘m terrible! I have a very short attention span!" she demanded desperately as she came close to thwaping it on the table. "There can‘t be a bishie round-up and/or glomp-fest of any sort without B-chan! There just CAN‘T! There are written laws against it!!"
She waited several seconds in silence before lowering her head and laughing maniacally, her right eye twitching slightly and an evil smile crossing her face that could only be compared to one produced by Xelloss. "If you don‘t let me in..." she pulls out a lighter, "...we’ll just have to have a little book-ie bonfire." she sings.
Within moments she is engulfed in a bright light. "Yaey! I just knew you'd see it my way..." =^.^=
Dee blinked as Amy snapped a pair of handuffs onto Chichiri and Tasuki in the record time of .0000001 seconds. So caught up in the excitement was Dee that she forgot her nervousness at being around Senor Monk and shouted along with Amy, "TAKE US TO KOJI!" The only difference being that she said it without the "u." Okay, so it's basically sounded the same. Whatever.
The brunette looked at Amy somewhat jealously as she wrapped her arms around the helpless Chichiri's neck. Still, Dee was confident of a bishonen war victory. "Um, Amy, don't you think you should stop hanging all over him? I think you're scaring Chichiri."
"No, he loves it!" Amy insisted, hugging her arms even tighter around his neck.
"Daa..." Chichiri said with a sweatdrop, too polite to tell her to get off.
Tasuki, on the other hand, had no such reserves. "D'you mind!?" he snapped at Dee, frowning at the girl in his hands and the cuffs on his wrists.
She blushed and hopped down, "gomen"-ing all the way. "Sorry about those," she muttered, gesturing at the cuffs, "but if we didn't Taiitsukun mighta killed us or something. I dunno, she scares me."
"Yeah, me too," the bandit agreed. He looked over at the cling-on Amy and Chichiri. "I guess I'm kinda lucky, though. I don't get stuck with th' girls hangin' all over me."
"That's because Haley isn't here..." Dee giggled. She stiffened, the fact hitting her like a ton of bricks. "Say, if the entire Chichiri community is here, then where's Haley-chan? And B-chan?"
As if on cue, the college girl's voice boomed out of the heavens. "AMY!!!!"
Dee whimpered. "God?"
"How dare you handcuff my dear dear Chichiri-sama without MEEEEEEEE!! You know perfectly well that`s *myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy* fantasy!"
Amy looked up, scratching her head. "God sounds an awful lot like B-chan..."
A burst of light lit the sky, and the body that the voice belonged to came flying out of the air, laughing as it went, "Knew you'd see things my way..."
WHUMP! Chichiri found two girls on top of him. "Itai no da..."
B-chan sat up, rubbing her sore back and wondering what the soft something she had landed on was. As soon as she saw it, she squealed happily. "CHICHIRI-SAMA, I FOUND YOU!"
The monk sighed as another cling-on fangirl found her way to his other side. "Why couldn't Taiitsukun have sent a Tamahome club no da?"
Dee growled, practically ripping her friends off the monk and sending them sailing across the field. "BACK OFF! NOT ONLY ARE YOU SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF HIM, BUT YOU'RE MOVING IN ON MY TERRITORY AND SLOWING US DOWN!"
"Slowing us down?" Amy wondered, standing and dusting herself off, then immediately clutching Chichiri's leg once more. "From what?"
"Food?" B-chan wondered.
"Finding Haley-chan?" Amy guessed.
B-chan grinned. "Maybe going into another animé realm? Say, 'Slayers'?"
Dee's eyebrow twitched. She grabbed both her friends and yanked them away from Chichiri once more, dragging them towards the mountain in the distance. She pointed a finger at the peak heroically, lightning flashing behind her as she struck a noble pose. "You're slowing us down... FROM MEETING MY KOJI-CHAN!"
Tasuki face-vaulted. "YOUR Koji-CHAN?"
Dee paid no attention, boldly striking off with her friends in tow. "Come, my Bishie Team!"
"Dee?"
"Don't bother me now, B-chan, I'm in action-hero mode!"
"Dee?"
"Nothing from you either, Amy-chan!"
"Ano... Dee, no da?"
The girl turned around and smiled sweetly at Chichiri. "Yes, Chichiri?"
"Mount Reikaku is..." He pointed behind them, "that way na no da."
This just caused Amy to glomp on Chichiri harder, "You have to love a man who doesn't need to ask for directions because he knows the way!"
"I don't ask for 'em either!" Tasuki all but growled.
Amy nearly ignored him, nearly, "That's cause you were leading us in the wrong direction."
"Really Tasuki," B-chan said, "And it's *your* mountain?"
He was turning a redder and redder color at being compared to the blue haired monk who could do no wrong, "BUT I DON'T HAVE A KESA THAT COULD JUST ZIP US THERE!"
And if Chichiri had a free hand, he would have smacked him.
"THE KESA!" The girl cried in unison, quickly forming a football hudle of sorts as they hatched a devious plan.
"Well, if he uses the kesa, then we could get the bishies quicker."
"Hai, hai, but then we'd have to take the cuffs off."
"And he could escape."
"If we have Tasuki?"
"True..."
The girls paused for a moment, to be wisked away on Chichiri's kesa... what fangirl hadn't dreamed of that? True, they were usually picturing themselves solo... but...
And then, Amy had an evil plan. An evil plan she planned on using for herself kinda plan.
"Um... Chichiri...." she said coyly, walking next to Chichiri in a devil-may-care attitude that instantly set the others on edge... but out of morbid curiosity they let her continue with this plan.
".. I'm afraid to ask, no da." he said suspiciously.
She grinned, and motioned that Chichiri should come closer.
Suspiciously he did so. And as she whispered in his ear, he promptly turned about 4 shades of red, reminding her of the classic SM scene where Mamoru finds out Rini is his kid, that shade of radioactive red. "Daaa!!!"
"What?" she pouted, "I can always take back the offer..."
He looked over to Tasuki and the fan girls with a leery look, "Promise, no da.?"
"Hai, hai, of course."
He gave a reluctant sigh and reached for his mask-- And was about scared the crap out of when the fan girls let out a high pitched squeal of appreciation.
"DO YOU MIND?" Amy all but screamed.
"Nani? What are you planning?" Dee-chan asked, although she could have cared less, staring at Chichiri.
Chichiri mumbled something about 'Suzako save me' and grabbed Amy, bending her down and giving her the type of kiss that fan girls only read/write about. The kind that...
"NO FAIR!" The other girls shouted.
When he finally broke the kiss, he looked more then releived, mask was quickly put back in place, "There, my end of the deal has been filled, no da."
Amy blinked slowly, a stupid grin slowly comming over her face, "Hai... hai... Alright, take the cuffs off, we're heading to Mount Leikaku."
B-chan grabbed Amy's arm roughly, all but throwing her aside, "How the *HELL* did you do that?"
Amy grinned, "Ahhh, the mind of an angst writer is a scary one, B-chan. You don't want to know what deals the devil makes."
"YES I DO! I WANT ONE!" she then calmly collected herself, "Erm, I mean..."
She waved it away, "Don't worry, I made a promise to Chichiri. I just have to steal one of Dr. Quest's inventions off my other Mailing List and I promise, we'll all be happy in the end."
She glared at the still dazed accomplice, "It had better..."
Chichiri waited impatiently, "Can we go now, no da?"
"HAI!" the girls said, each grabbing a leg, arm, or neck of Chichiri. Tasuki snickered as he got on the kesa.
"Then let's go, no da!" he shouted, and with the pounding of his staff on the swirl printed cloth, they were gone.
Amy and B-chan each clung tightly to their respected pieces of Chichiri as they re-appeared on Mount Reikaku. B-chan was grinning happily and nuzzling him as if he were one of those extremely cute puppies. "Shi-a-wa-se!" she purred, rubbing her head up and down his arm.
This quickly merited the attention of Amy and the two firmly established dominance over specific glomping regions of the concerned monk’s body. B-chan found herself firmly planted to his neck, Amy with an equally stern grip on his chest.
"C-can't....breathe...no da..." Chichiri gasped, arms flailing.
"I want the neck!" Amy frowned.
"H-h-help...." he continued.
"You already got a kiss!" B-chan protested. Looking hurtfully at Chichiri and nuzzling some more. "B-chan wants a kissy, toooo." she nuzzled.
Tasuki and Dee-chan once again found themselves acting as go-betweens and trying to pry Chichiri free of the cling-ons but neither of them would budge very easily. B-chan made a rather unnerving growl as Tasuki finally began to make some dent in her grip and he quickly released her and backed slowly over to Dee-chan.
Tasuki turned to Dee-chan and scratched his head. "Ya sure you all came from Miaka’s world? Your friends are more like ravenous parasites or somethin’..."
"I heard that, fang boy!" B-chan scowled, she reluctantly loosened the death grip for the sake of allowing Chichiri to breath.
"Yeah, just wait till she gets a good grip on Kouji. You’ll need the jaws of life." Amy added.
B-chan craned her neck down and motioned to Amy. "Ne, ne, what’re we gonna do when we get him back to our world?"
"We’ll devise a custody plan or something, of course."
Chichiri sweatmarked. "Ano... Do I have any say in this no da?"
"No." they chimed in unison.
"Yappari." he sighed, trying to wiggle free.
Dee-chan cleared her throat loudly. "If you two have had quite enough fun having your way with Chichiri..."
B-chan grinned perversely at this and Chichiri desperatley tried to distance himself. "Daa~ you’re giving them IDEAS no da!"
"...COULD WE *PLEASE* GET TO MY KOUJI-CHAN NOW!" she concluded as Tasuki lead the way to the entrance.
"Kouji! Kouji! Kouji!"
The gang...or rather the bishie-slave drivers and their bishies had arrived near Mt. Reikaku.
"Itai! ITAI!!!!" Tasuki exclaimed as he was drung along with the handcuffs attached to Dee. The three others followed.
Dee pushed the bandit-guards out of the way and ran straight in. She ran around until she got to the dining area. And there sat the blue-haired bandit bishie. Her eyes began to mist. He stood up.
"What the hell is going on?"
"Kouji...I hate girls."
"IT'S REALLY YOU!" Dee immediately ran to Kouji and, before he could react, threw her arms around him and clenched him tight.
"Who the hell are you?" he was finally able to say.
The other bandits stood up and looked on with question marks floating above their heads. Quietly, a form slipped behind the crowd and watched the scene from just out of sight.
"We're here to get all the bishies of this world and you're one of them!" exclaimed B-chan, who was able to talk unlike a certain brunette.
"Bishies? Oh crap...it's some girls from another world again, and they're trying to take my buddy Genrou again." Koji sighed. "Only, this time, not for a legit reason." he peered down at his fiery friend who lay on the floor, his arm in an awkward position. "Genrou, are you okay?"
He stared off blankly.
"Gen.." Kouji began to kneel down but couldn't. "Um...would ya get off for a second?" The girl hung on. "Um..." Kouji sighed then finally pushed her off gently. "You can hug me later."
Careful not to misplace his left arm anymore, Kouji helped his friend up.
"Hey Kouji, it's been a while." Tasuki jumped up ready for a dance.
"I don't think this is a dancing time, boss. Hareya, where are ya?" He looked around, but didn't seem to make eye contact with anyone.
"Hey Boss, she was here a second ago but she's not now."
"She must be back in her room. Let's go get this fixed. Hey Shigeru, would ya make a room for these people?"
"A room?" the long-haired man replied.
"Ya, I have a feeling they'd stay even if we told them not to."
"I'm really sorry about this no da."
"I know it's not your fault Chichiri...uh..." the blue-haired bandit looked down and noticed Dee was hugging him from behind. He sighed, knowing it was futile. He pushed her off for a second and then put his arm around the girl. Dee blinked and looked up at him, blushing. "It's not like you're gonna let go of me. I might as well be comfortable, right?"
She blushed deeper and then nodded.
B-chan and Amy turned red with anger. "How come her bishy does that to her?" said the latter.
"Hey, you got Chichiri to kiss you!" exclaimed B-chan.
"WHAT?" Kouji exclaimed, and all the bandits looked at the blushing monk who waved his chibi hands.
"She tricked me no da!"
"Hey, where'd Tasuki go?" Dee noticed.
Amy clenched her fists. "A BISHIE HAS ESCAPED!"
A bandit from the crowd replied. "He just walked off to Hareya's room while you all were talking, you crazy psycho girls."
"Don't you feel peachy?" B-chan said to Amy with a grin.
"This bishie must be watched at all times! Where is Hareya's room?"
"I'll show you." Kouji led the group as they all walked to the room with a few bandits who had nothing better to do following them.
CRAAACK!
"ITAI!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I had to though. It would heal the wrong way if I didn't."
"Don't you think you could have done it a bit more gently?"
"Ya, you can get real gentle when you break bones!" a voice retorted back.
Dee's ears perked up. She would have spoken if she wasn't still bewildered by Kouji's hold on her. 'That voice...'
Kouji opened the door and the group walked in. Tasuki was sitting on the bed and a short blonde girl, wearing tan pants like Tasuki and blue shirt with a black belt, kneeled next to the bed holding his arm out.
"Ha.." began Dee as the three girls looked on in confusion.
"Yep, Hareya's my name," she answered quickly, looking just as confused upon seeing Kouji with his arm around a girl. "And who are the rest of ya? You don't seem to be from around here."
"We're not," said a confused-looking B-chan. "We're from far far away. What about you, are you from far far far away?" she asked, her eyebrow raised.
"I've forgotten my past. These guys found me and allowed me to stay with them. I can never fully repay them." She glanced up at the orange-haired man and smiled.
"I personally didn't want a girl coming to live here but, I admit, you've turned out handy." he replied.
"Here." Chichiri handed Hareya some bandages from the table that were just out of reach.
"Oh, thanks. I almost forgot." she sweat dropped.
"Almost forgot about my arm? What if you had dropped it?!"
"Well, it didn't happen did it?"
"Girls..." he muttered.
"Boss, these girls can stay in my room. That way no one else will have to share."
Relief swept over his face. "Thanks, Hareya."
"HALEY! It's us!!!!" Dee finally exclaimed after the four of them were alone. Tears began to form in her eyes. "Dont' you remember me? I've been your best friend since we were four!!!" She cried chibi rivers.
Hareya sighed. "Dumbass...I didn't forget my memory, Dee."
"Huh?" Dee looked up and hugged her immediately.
"YOUR MEMORY IS BACK UPON SEEING YOUR FRIEND! HOW TOUCHING!!!" exclaimed Amy with clasped hands.
"BAKA! They're gonna hear you! I didn't forget my memory."
"Huh?" All of them asked simultaneously as they looked at her expressionlessly.
"I arrived here a while ago and Taiitsukun told me what I was supposed to do. Luckily, they kinda showed up and I told them I didn't remember anything. If you want a bishie to follow you, you don't just go and glomp him!!!"
"Oh...good point..." noted B-chan. "Hey, wait a second." she clasped her hands together and fluttered her eyelashes. "Boss, these girls can stay in my room. That way no one else will have to share."
Dee was quite content at dinner that night, as she was firmly wedged between her best friend and the bishie bandit (Koji, of course, not Tasuki) with a delightful view of Chichiri in front of her. Amy and B-chan occupied seats on either side of the monk, with Tasuki sitting on the other side of Haley (much to the girl's pleasure).
Dee dove into the Chinese food with a will, thinking hard about what had happened and what would happen next. Naturally, most of THOSE thoughs involved some incredibly sexy bishonen. The high school student glanced over at Koji, who seemed to be handling being a Bishie Slave pretty well.
Koji felt her eyes on him, and glanced over, grinning. "How ya like th' meal, huh? Reikaku food pretty good, ain't it?"
Dee melted in his hazel eyes, to put it mildly. "Yeah, really great..." She felt a stupid smile coming on, and quickly turned back to her food. The stupid smile came anyway; she just hoped he couldn't see it. 'Koji's...' Dee thought to herself, 'Well, the best description's easily HOT DAMN! but I'm still pretty sure that Chichiri-chan's number one in her heart...' she smacked her head as she realized how uncharacteristically corny that sounded, then went on.
'Okay, so Amy's somehow managed to kiss Chichiri-chan. Luckily, he still seems kinda afraid of her, which might work out really well for me.' The teenager glared across the table at her older friends, sulking silently. 'It's not fair... just 'cause they're closer in age, they thing they have a better chance with him!? Ten-plus years isn't that much... okay, so it is, but still...'
Haley stole some chicken off of Dee's plate.
"Hey!" she cried. "What'd you do that for?"
Haley shrugged. "You were just sitting there, staring at Chichiri, so I figured you didn't want it." The girl popped the food in her mind, savoring the good taste. She turned to Tasuki after a moment. "How's your arm, feeling better?"
"Yeah, it oughta be all right," he grumbled, reluctant to give thanks to a girl. "Arigatou, Hareya."
"Oh, that reminds me..." Dee smacked Haley over the head and swiped one of her crab rangoons. "How dare you steal the name of Koji's girlfriend in 'FY:NC' without asking me first! I should sue!"
"Sorry, sorry..."
"And another thing, you totally ripped off that break-a-bone-to-reset-it thing from 'Breaking Point'!"
"Sorry, sorry..."
"And one more thing..."
"What?" Haley asked, looking somewhat annoyed.
Dee hugged her. "I MISSED YOUUUUUUUU!"
From across the table, B-chan sweatdropped. "You were only separated for a few hours..."
Chichiri tried to eat while at the same time being hugged on both sides by the cling-on fangirls. "They're true best friends na no da."
Dee sniffled, obsessed fangirl mind assuming there was more to that sentence then there was: surely he was sadly thinking about Hikou!
She looked at him with big, chibi eyes. "Chichiri-chan... I'LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND TOOOOOO!"
The monk sweatdropped and smiled at the same time, not sure which was more approriate. "Thanks, I think no da..."
Amy glared at her, but didn't say anything as she shoved another eggroll into her mouth. "So," she muttered after a moment, "who do we go for next?"
B-chan frowned thoughtfully. "Well, I'd say Hotohori-sama if he wasn't dead... unless you think we can get his spirit... or something..."
Dee's head spun. "Hotohori-sama...!?" She fell over backwards, the thought of four bishies all at once being just too much for her young mind to handle.
Koji fanned her with his napkin. "Eh, she gonna be all right?"
Haley shrugged. "Yeah, she just had a Bishie Overload for a second."
Tasuki shook his head, turning his attention back to his food. "Girls are so weird."
"I'm starting to agree no da..."
Amy popped in another peice of some sort of sweet chicken. There were so many kinds, it was getting harder and harder to tell them apart. Though, if it wasn't for the massive amounts of Green tea the bandits had been feeding her, she would have gone mad from caffine withdrawls.
Yes, she could get worse without caffine.
"Hey, you remember the last couple of eps?"
The fan girls nodded while the locals struggled with the term 'eps'.
"How did the spirits of the fallen Suzako get bodies?"
"NYAN-NYANS!"
Tasuki rubbed his ear in a futile effort to regain his hearing in his shattered eardrum, "Do you guys hafta be so damn loud?"
"Hai!" they all chirped at once.
"So," Amy continued, "We get loverboy here," She took just a tad more of Chichiri's feeling in his arm as she squeezed him affectionatly, "To take us to the Nyan's and well drag a few of them around with us as we get the spirits in the Nyan bodies."
"I WANNA KISS HIM THIS TIME!" B-chan yelled.
;_; <---- chichiri
"Hey, we had a deal!" Amy said, pointing a chopstick at the notch of B-chan's neck. "I would clo--- oh,ho ho!" she grinned, waving the chopstick, "I almost revealed my secret plan! Chichiri, how could you let me do such a thing?"
"False hope, no da?"
She took the last of his feeling from her side of his body, "Silly Suzako..." *nuzzle nuzzle*
B-chan was glaring, "DEAL OR NOT! IT'S MY TURN!!" She yanked (And I mean really yanked, so get him out of the death hold Amy had on him) Chichiri out of Amy's grasp and...
...the force of the mighty tug sent herself and Chichiri tumbling backwards onto the floor. 'Chansu!' B-chan squeaked happily to herself as the handsome monk landed practically atop her, their faces less than an inch apart.
Her heart pounded. 'This is it!' she thought, 'a chance to steal a kiss from an actual bishie!!!!! I could die happy!'
She puckered up and began to take aim when suddenly something occurred to her. As their lips brushed, B-chan closed her eyes and turned her head. 'Agh! Dammit, dammit, dammit...!!' she sighed heavily, whacking herself in the head with her fist. "Owwwie..."
Chichiri, now an incredible shade of red, quickly gathered himself up as she did the same as he offered a hand. He took a relieved sigh yet looked curiously at her for the uncharacteristic move.
Meanwhile, Amy and Dee-chan's jaws were all but on the floor. They quickly collected B-chan by the arm and hauled her off to the side.
"And you call yourself a Chichiri fan?!"
"Why on EARTH didn't you plant one on him when you had such an obvious chance?!?!"
Dee-chan, pulling on B-chan's cheek suspiciously, "A fake B-chan, perhaps?"
B-chan tweedled her fingers childishly and took on the look of a sheepish Lina after she'd looted a few too many bandits. "Well...ya see..." She looked as though she were trying to translate her thoughts from a completely different language. "That is to say... I, erm.... started to think...and, well...just seems like the more forward you are with someone like him...the less progress you make. In the long run, that is."
She walked back over to the table and sat down without another word. The other three girls were still looked as though she were completely insane...or a fake. Calmly and collectively B-chan pushed her plate across the table then proceeded to bang her head three good times against the solid wood table. 'What was I THINKING?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I sold my conscience for a candy bar in grade school just to avoid things like that, for kami sake!'
She rose from the table top slowly, newly reddened forehead and all. A devilishly creepy look was spreading wide across her face. "That’s it..." she stood up on her chair, one foot on the table in front of Dee-chan, and her hand pointing determinately out into space. "I have seen the answer! It’s..."
"...death?"
"...an evil orange fruit loop?"
"...a closet Nakago fan?"
B-chan cringed at the last comment yet, nonetheless, leaned in to make it difficult for any of the guys to eavesdrop, "...to earn some bonus points with Chichiri one needs only to become just a little like you-know-who." B-chan concluded matter-o-factly with a wink.
"That is, of course, without going TOO far and drudging up any pesky tragic memories." she quickly added, seeing the gleam start to rise in Amy's eye. She reached into her pants pocket and pulled out a small well-worn copy of Shoryuu Den which she proceeded to display. "Never leave home without it."
Amy grabbed the gaiden greedily, doing her ultra-super-fast reading that seemed to drive her mother up the wall by the sheer amount of books she must buy this child due to her insane reading ability. After a stunned moment, the girl returned the book with a happy sigh, "Finally, I got to read it..."
Dee-chan lifted an eyebrow, "Get any pointers?"
"Phfft, Hell no, I'm not being like *her*. I'm her every single day! The demure attitude, the character trait of letting people walk all over you."
"Well, Chichiri's pretty mellow, y'gotta admit that." B-chan pointed out.
"Yeah, but he's funny." Amy grinned stupidly, "I love that about him, and he's smart. How many times do you come across a funny and smart guy who's handsome?"
"Point." Haley said.
"So hell, I'm going to be me. If that doesn't work, me and 'Chiri have a back up plan that will make both of us happy."
"Does it involve whips...?" Haley ventured.
The gleam hit Amy's eye again, "It can..."
"I'LL KILL 'ER!" B-chan shouted, going after Amy.
Dee-chan, with the reflexes of a cat, grabbed onto the almost kissed fan-atic and put her back in her place. "Just be like... 'her', and it'll work out for ya B-chan, really." Dee said, soothing B-chan.
"Yeah," Haley grinned, "Just be innocent and pure."
Amy grinned, "Can you *be* innocent and pure?"
"If Chichiri's on the line." B-chan grinned, her little scheme getting up steam, "I will be as pure and innocent as the most wholesome douche commercial!"
"Bad visual!"
"Eww!"
"Hey, I read that somewhere..."
"Shuddup!!"
Amy stopped for a moment, "You know, if your... like *her*.... you couldn't be seen with us..."
"*US*?" Haley said, "Hey, I'm following suit, it's a damn good idea and if anything, we can get this mission thingy over with and go home... where they have *toilets*!"
"And deodarant." Deechan said, "Sorry Amy, but I'm with them, too."
" ;_; You mean, I'll be alone...?"
"Gomen..."
Amy brushed back her butt-length brown hair, "No, really. It's okay. I can go solo. Really." She grabbed Tasuki's sake shot and threw back the whole thing, to Tasuki's disapointment, "Me and Tasuki will figure this out, ne?"
"Figure what out? And why the hell did you drink my sake?"
She put an arm around him affectionatly, "You know, you always were my second favorite..."
"Fuuuuuuuck..."
Haley's eyebrow twitched as she saw Amy's arm slip slowly around the bandit's shoulder. She thought to herself as she peered at the two 'I can't let my guard down. Girls annoy Tasuki already, can't let my guard down...can't let my guard down...must remain calm...' I felt a hand brush against my forehead. I looked up and the blue-haired bandit. "Um...Hareya-chan, you feelin' okay? You look a little odd."
"No, I'm fine." She forced a smile.
He shrugged. "If you say so."
Amy smiled from across the room upon seeing the scene. "So, Tasuki. You like sake? So do I." Amy leaned even closer to the wide-eyed bandit.
"That's right, but I don't like girls."
"Tasuki, didn't you say you weren't going to say that anymore when Miaka left no da?"
"Well, I'm changing my mind again!"
"Does your mind change often?" Amy blew near his ear, and he immediately blushed.
Steam blew from Haley's ears, and finally she blew. Standing up she smacked Amy down to the floor to get her away from the bandit. "IF HE SAYS HE DOESN"T LIKE GIRLS, THEN GET THE POO OFF OF HIM!!!!!" She continued breathing hard with her hands clenched. Amy just smiled, and everyone else looked on wide-eyed and chibi. Haley looked around at the staring audience, and quickly faked a laugh. "Heh...heh...um...just didn't want you feeling uncomfortable Tasuki. Heh...ya...um...jaa!" She rushed out the door to her room.
"Well I don't know how much more uncomfortable I can get," the fiery man said as soon as she was out.
"No kidding no da. She really snapped."
Amy grinned. "Gee...I wonder why."
"Could it be she has a thing for Tasuki here?" B-chan nudged the bandit, who blushed in response.
"What are you talking about? She doesn't have a thing for me, maybe she's in the middle of those annoying woman troubles where they get all crazy, even though women are crazy all the time, or maybe she doesn't want me to be bothered, or maybe..."
"Genrou, you're babbling," his friend interrupted.
"Me? Babble? I never babble, what are yout alking about babbling. hey, I gotta go check out something outside. See ya!" With that, the bandit raced out as far as his seishi speed legs could carry him.
Amy grinned sadly to herself, these silly girls... how thier emotions came out for thier bishies so easily when provoked... The bishies were a little harder, but these girls came from *her* world, she knew. She didn't spend a lifetime as a wall flower not knowing these things.
It was playing the role of evil sadist and evil character that was draining, but nessessary. If she could get Haley and Tasuki together, Dee-chan and Kouji... B-chan could have Chichiri... if it wasn't for the deal...! Maybe she could make Chichiri want to back out of that.
But who was she kidding, she wanted him too... That's where the real problem lay.
"Oh wow, you looked thoughtful there for a moment." Dee-chan said softly.
"Phfft, you were looking into things." she muttered, "Hey, have any more green tea?"
"Sorry, it's all been drunken." Dee-chan said.
Amy snorted and began to get up to make a cup when she was stopped.
B-chan's arm was in her way, "Is that your game? To alienate everyone, Chichiri included, from us? It was fine when you a predictable Chichiri fan, but hitting on Tasuki like that was a low blow."
"It was nessessary."
"Bull."
"Fine, whatever. You tell me it was a low blow when Tasuki is babbling all over himself over a woman, and why Haley all but screamed out her love for him! Those two are," she pinched her fingers, "This close to hooking up and they're on other ends of the camp! Now why the hell are you concerned with me, when you have a potienial couple doing the worst possible thing when they are so close to hitting the dream?"
...
"We should go out there."
"Yeah. Let's go."
"Wait, one thing... why do you care if Haley and Tasuki get together?"
She brushed back her hair before disapearing into the kitchen, "One less fanatic to deal with on my road to Chichiri."
B-chan just shook her head before heading out with Dee to thier respective half-couple.
No one hear the china crash in the kitchen.
~~~~~~
Haley was crying on the bed in her room. The pillow all but soaked. Deechan sat next to her, "It's not so bad, you know."
"Oh please!" she shouted, "Did you see the way he looked at me? Like he was terrified of me! And it's all *her* *FAULT*"
"Hey, I think you should be thanking her right about now."
Haley rolled her eyes, "You must have hit your head."
"You should know... Tasuki was babbling after that little performance about how you didn't like him, that it was your time of the month, or how it might be something else..."
Her red eyes looked up, "Really? He said that? He babbled for me?"
Dee nodded.
"Then what the hell am I doing here?!" she shouted, "Someone brought make-up, and I need to fix myself up! Get some of that green tea from Amy's stash so I can get the puffiness out of my eyes! He's MINE!"
~~~~~~
B-chan smacked Tasuki so hard, he about fell off his chair, "Boy, what the hell is wrong with you?"
He made many futile warding signs, but to no avail, "I hate women, and I especially hate 'em from other worlds..."
"You probably made her cry."
His eyes shifted, "I did not."
"Sure you did. You didn't even defend her in front of her face."
"She ran out b'fore I could--"
"You were SCARED."
"I WAS NOT!"
"TOO!"
"NOT!"
B-chan smacked him again, "You like her, you idiot. You wouldn't have babbled if you didn't." "I don't like women." he grumbled, but with less effort.
She rolled her eyes, "So you like Hermaphrodites?"
He stared blankly at her.
"They have both."
"NO! I DON"T LIKE... like.... WHATEV'R THEY ARE!"
"So, you like girls."
He grumbled, "Putting it that way..."
"Do you like Haley?"
"B'fore I knew she was one'a you... and just as a friend. She helped out a lot of our guys." He tried to skirt around her questions.
"What's changed?"
He rolled his eyes, "Y'haven't catched up yet?"
Smack, "Think!"
"She's still the same person she is, just found out about where she came from..."
"Then you still like her."
"Well... ya."
"Wanna take her on a date?"
"I DON'T LIKE WOMEN!"
"It'll keep Amy off your back."
"Where do I sign up?"