Chapter 10
"Oof!"
I sprawled out in a heap, arms and legs flaying about until my senses distinguished up from down. Coughing puffs of disturbed dust, I pushed myself into a sitting position and gingerly opened my eyes.
My large, emerald, anime eyes.
But- but how-
I raised my hands in front of me and stared at the two golden rings. I was back in anime! Had- had it all been another dream?
"Shenlong?" I called tentatively.
A moment passed, long enough for me to feel foolish. I must have fallen asleep here on this high cliff. But then-
"Forgive me, Ally, for putting you through what I did."
I got to my feet and faced the area of empty air I judged to be about where the Eternal Dragon's voice was coming from. Anger bubbled in my system but I shoved it away. Everything was growing clearer now in my head. "You only did what you had to do," I said a bit stiffly.
"Ah, yes," the dragon mused. "So you finally understand . . ."
I heaved a slight sigh. "Everyone's been trying to tell me the same thing since the very beginning and it takes me over ten years to finally get it." Laying fists on my hips, I shook my head. "I kept thinking that I screwed things up by being here and that it was all my fault. But in reality, things happened the way they were supposed to happen even without my help. I just wish I had figured this out sooner and stopped trying to hide everything."
"There are many different possibilities to the future, young one," Shenlong stated. "What you learned in riaru was only one. Making certain decisions created more. I am curious about one thing however; What made you decide to chose riaru instead?"
I thought for a moment. "When you told me I could shape anime the way I wanted it. I never, ever wanted that kind of power and not one person should ever have it. I think, many times, I've been afraid that's what I was doing here- changing things for myself. It was wrong of me to believe I was the focal point like that."
"I am glad you now know different," the dragon murmured.
"So am I," I breathed. "So am I." An eyebrow arched and I crossed my arms. "You sure picked a heck of a way to show me though."
Shenlong chuckled. "My pleasure. And now I must return to being . . . nonexistent at this present time. One more query before I pass: How will you heal the damage already done?"
"Good question," I muttered. "With Trunks, I just don't know. With Vegeta . . ." A sharp pain hit my chest at the thought. "I know I deserve any harsh treatment from him. If he was here now, I'd tell him how sorry I am and that- that I still love him dearly." I managed a sad smile. "He probably wouldn't listen, would he? But I'd tell him anyway. Then I'd scream it some more as he flew away. And then I'd tell myself once again that I really need to learn how to fly." I was rambling, I knew it. But the very idea of confronting Vegeta was making me giddy and I wrung my hands nervously. "What do you think I should do?"
No answer came from the skies. "Shenlong?"
I heard a faint whisper in my head. "Farewell until the future, Ally sei Vegeta." And I was alone on that high cliff.
I hugged my arms tighter around my scantily-clad shoulders, wishing I had thought to keep my longer shirt and my shoes.
There was a tingle inside me. Something I felt every so often. Something only a bond could produce. Go to her, go to her! I heard it a split second before my own senses told me-
Behind you.
I spun around and my heart constricted. Vegeta stood at the very edge of the trees, eyes two glittering dots in the overcast shadows. His face looked haggard and far too old; his knuckles white with tension.
My gaze widened. "How- how long have you been there?" I forced out.
"As long as you have," was the gruff answer. "I saw everything. I . . . heard everything."
"You d-did . . ?" I stammered.
"I do not just say something to hear myself say it," Vegeta snapped and then he wrenched his eyes away to glare at the ground. "Why do you always question-" He stopped, seemed to struggle with the words. "Woman, I-" He cut himself off again and made a grimace.
I took a few timid steps toward him but flinched back when those dark eyes alighted on me. He was in front of me before I could take another breath, lifting a hand to touch my cheek. I bit my lip. Even barely touching the bruise hurt badly. Vegeta jerked his hand away.
"I hurt you," he growled. "Your wrist, your hand, your cheek. Ally, what will be next?"
"I'm not a weakling," I said quietly. Vegeta turned away from me, shoulders hunched and muscles knotted. "Don't you think I knew what I was getting into a long time ago?"
"How can you forgive me for that?" he asked angrily.
"How can you forgive me for lying to you?" I countered.
His shoulders drooped and he half-twisted to look at me. "I want to."
"So do I. And I do."
"So do I."
We both seemed to breathe a bit easier after those vague confessions. Vegeta stared at me a moment and then made a movement to take off again. Before he could leave, I tackled him from behind and squeezed him as hard as I could.
"Ally-" Vegeta grabbed my arm and swung me around in front of him. I found myself suspended just above the ground by one of his hands splayed across my back, the other hand catching my right one. "You have something that belongs to me."
"Me?" I questioned, barely keeping a smile from forming.
"That too," he agreed. "But . . ." Taking two of his fingers, he gently slid his wedding band off my ring finger and placed the golden trinket back on his own left one. Vegeta buried his nose in the curve of my neck and breathed in deeply. "Mine," he declared.
Grinning, I strained upward and pressed my face to his own body. "Mine," I claimed. We stayed like that forever, touching as much as we could touch of each other. I could feel his pulse gradually slow beneath my fingertips and I removed my lips from his skin long enough to breath, "I need to find Trunks."
Vegeta tensed, releasing me so we could straighten up. "What for?"
"What for?" I echoed. "Vegeta, I- I was horrible to him!"
"So he'll get over it."
"Vegeta!"
"Woman, I know you want to go talk to him so why are you still here bothering me? Go on already!"
I puffed indignantly, blowing my bangs from my eyes. "Fine then," I said angrily. I turned on my heel, about to walk away, when Vegeta suddenly appeared in front of me again, just inches separating our noses.
I raised an eyebrow at him. What'd he want now? Then he reached forward and ran his fingers through my hair. Vegeta stared at the brown strands looping across his hands as if they were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. He bent, pushing his face to bury into those loose strands. His hands delved at the nape of my neck and clenched gently, displaying both his inhuman strength and tender affection in one simple, tiny movement. I shivered slightly, not from fear or the cold.
"Why are you shaking?" he murmured lowly and I felt his hidden lips move upon my skin, his breath tingling like molten silk through my hair.
"Dunno," was all I could manage and even that choked out as a throaty falter.
For awhile all he did was touch his lips upon my neck, cheek against cheek, blood pounding in my ears. "Ally . . ." he breathed. "What you do to me; you have no idea. You're my anger, my frustration, my . . ." --he huffed-- "my inability, my madness, my empathy, my hand stretching toward light. You are everything that stirs me alive," he ended, and his hands tightened even more, not quite overstepping the boundary into pain. If he wanted to meld himself into me, borrow beneath my skin, I would have let him. Anything to be closer. Anything to show him that I returned those rare, unguarded words he had uttered. I tried to speak but my throat had closed and I only emitted a damp whimper.
Dark eyes lifted and swallowed me. "Don't you dare," he warned. "Don't you dare, damn you!"
I was surprised by his sudden fierceness, the way he seized my shoulders and his power flared around us in that bright blue swell so unique to him. The tears clung frozen to my eyelashes; I hadn't even known they were there, ready to overspill.
I realized then how much of an effect one person could have on another. Every action Vegeta made, every grunt he uttered, guided how I reasoned and felt, how I reacted. I never thought there were equal standards and while I had been aware of Vegeta . . . Vegeta himself had also been well aware of me. This realization, this great understanding, left me feeling more venerable than I had ever felt during my entire existence in this beautifully twisted anime world, and the startling thing was-- I sensed that Vegeta had to be feeling the same suffering distress.
And he didn't know how to handle it.
I remembered what Piccolo, dear wise Piccolo, had said to me earlier, calling Vegeta an emotionally-torn Saiyajin. Did normal Saiyajins even feel such emotions that tore at their heart? Could they?
Maybe that was why Vegeta always acted so strongly against his own, lashing out in anger or simply leaving the situation - usually me - behind. Many times he had grown angry with me because I threw him off, such as when I wished to live as long as a Saiyajin and our strange link unsteadied him as much as me. But . . . right now I didn't sense any anger from him or in his thoughts and he showed no sign of disappearing.
What could I do? What could I say? I knew this creature like I knew the flutter of wind tugging at my clothes, but yet we stood like two stones on a mountain, held up by one another yet far too separate.
Vegeta's forehead burned hotly against my temple, his eyes squeezed shut. "Don't you dare," he hissed again through his teeth. Don't what? Don't cry so he didn't feel it too?
I tried to move my trapped arms and he released his hold on them enough so that I could without wrenching something out of socket. I wound them around his waist, his sleek muscles tensing and then slowly relaxing under careful instruction. "Vegeta," I whispered, ghosting my lips over his. "Breathe out . . . so I can breathe you in . . ."
His eyes sprung open, blackness a blank envelope questioning and warm and so unlike Vegeta. I wondered briefly if I was seeing inside him, inside the very part of him he tried so hard to keep hidden. I wondered why.
Lips returned my own light touch, brushing fevered skin to fevered skin, hovering between a kiss and something greater. He exhaled and warmth streamed into me, spreading throughout me like the Gateway's life-giving glow and perhaps it was the Gateway, my connection to anime, my link.
I had never experienced something so intimate that couldn't be described and our almost-kiss breached that boundary of spoken words. The most I, later, would be able to describe it as being was like the pressing of a finger in the tender part of your palm, or the sensation of climbing a hill, standing at the top, the exact moment you beheld even more hills, all of them covered in bright violet wallflowers. It was like that and so much more - a caress of lips, a sharing of breath, and a stare more sensual than either.
***
I woke up alone; I knew I would. I stretched a little, noticing my previously discarded shirt and shoes laying nearby along with the rest of my clothes neatly folded. A blush twinged my cheeks and I quickly dressed and tied back my hair, remembering our rough and almost desperate movements mere hours ago. The sun was close to setting now and the sight of that bloodied orb dipping into the earth probably could have symbolized more if I let it.
Perhaps in the future I would confront Vegeta with what I had seen in his black eyes. For now if was enough that I had merely witnessed it and Vegeta knew that I had witnessed it. It was enough that we had resolved our sins against each other - in the way Vegeta enjoyed (and myself, though I won't admit it to him) the most. He was probably watching me from above, no doubt, smirking in that self-satisfied way.
I smiled because he could see it, squared my shoulders and went to find Trunks.
Trunks . . .
*********************
I must thank my roommate Emchay-chan for some inspiration. The 'breathe out so I can breathe you in" line comes from a Foo Fighters song called "Ever Long," but Emchay really must be thanked for the idea.
Also, someone may be wondering: why the sudden sap? There's only one chapter left of "Purple Haze" (plus an epilogue and some side stories) and that leaves absolutely no room for romance between Vegeta and Ally. I felt like I owed them, since they have been my main focus for several years. The Ally Universe will end with "Purple Haze Appearing"(plus the Side Stories) so this is my way of thanking the pair (and you) for so many memories.